"Using the expanded weapon rules, a dwarf's Arquebus
will play differently from a human crossbow or an Elvish bow."
I know it's a vexed question, but I think "Arquebus" here should be lower case, as it's a reference to the weapon rather than the game rule (and it will then match "crossbow" and "bow" in the same sentence).
"However, not all figures must use these new rules. Generic hand to hand attacks
are available at no cost."
Should be "hand-to-hand attacks".
Many dwarves models are toting firearms, grenades or cannons, and display a technological level similar to late Renaissance
"to that of the late Renaissance".
"As creatures of Earth, metals and minerals, it is fitting for them to be the masters of those weapons."
I'd rephrase to avoid the dangling modifier:
"As dwarves are creatures of Earth, metals and minerals, it is fitting for them to be the masters of those weapons."
"If you feel thatblack powder weapons
..." should be "black-powder weapons".
Also, a query here:
"The east side of the mountains
is an area of dry steppes perpetually swept by winds, and inhabited by aggressive, nomadic hobgoblin tribes."
Should this be "On the east side of the mountains"?
Bottom of the page:
"and by the
occasional antediluvian lizard-men, dragons and wyverns."
The "the" should go unless you change it to "the occasional antediluvian lizard-man, dragon or wyvern".
"The most common foe of a dwarf is another dwarf, or an Undead
Should this be in lower case? It's trait vs description again, but I think "undead dwarf" would probably read better here. It's in lower case on page 7.
"Hobgoblins (Hurras in their own, harsh sounding language) are a well-organized, militaristic, nomadic culture of orange skinned
Add hyphen: "orange-skinned".
"Large battle axes, spiked shields, yatagans and double handed
maces with a spike at the end of the handle are the most common infantry weapons."
Add hyphen: "double-handed".
"Hobgoblins have good smiths. Their metallurgy is almost on par with the Dwarves
, but have limited access to ores, so any metal weapons they conquer from opponents are a welcome bounty. They are seen as evil by the other races because they do not show compassion for the weak or the ill, not even for their own kind, and gladly resolve any dispute with brute force or trial by combat. Hobgoblins see themselves as pragmatists hardened by the rigors of life on the steppes. They respect Dwarves
but do not fear them. However, they never
attempt to raid Dwarven
strongholds or underground cities. In centuries of forced co-existence with Dwarves
have conquered only one ..."
So far, "dwarves" have been in lower case (see top left of this page). Ditto "hobgoblins" (see page 7). Also, should "never" be "seldom" or "rarely", given that the next sentence does describe the conquest of a dwarves stronghold (and the fact that this is a wargame
"Luar, known today as Luar The Fallen
, and that only happened thanks to demonic intervention and treason."
"Luar the Fallen", I think.
"Dwarves call these animals “Beardbiters
”becauseoftheir penchant for biting at the neck."
"Ruled by their near immorta
l King Thumas Ven, Miners practice gem magic and have the most powerful Runecasters."
"His choice made him a hero of the masses and he was the first King
to be elected out of
public acclamation instead of patrilineage."
"A whole clan were turned into undead creatures, and demons and long forgotten
monsters started to appear all around Kestar Kell."