Typos and other blunders

[Andrea Sfiligoi]

If you spot a typo, a truncated or missing sentence, a miscalculated point cost or a contradicting rule, please post it in this thread. I will edit the book as we go, so that we give in the best document possible to the editor.

The book will be professionally edited., meaning that we are paying someone to go over the text when it's final. As you may know, English is a second language to me and some sentences may sound a bit strange: they will be corrected, but feel free to mention them here.

[Jcrozier]

On page 57:


Handgunner w/two guns
Points 44 Quality 3+ Combat 3 Traits Handgun (W), Short Bow (W), Short Move

I presume the Short Bow should actually be a second Handgun.

[Andrea Sfiligoi]

corrected, thanks

[Jcrozier]

On page 70, the Troll Shaman is missing his spell. It should be Fear, judging by FF, which makes the points cost work.

[Jcrozier]

Not a blunder or a typo, but on page 73, I wonder if pollaxe (that seems to be the accepted spelling these days) should be added to the Piercing Weapon list (and to Heavy Weapon, perhaps). It strikes me as the quintessential "can-opener" for heavy armour. I'd give a knight with a pollaxe both Heavy Weapon and Piercing Weapon, which would contrast nicely with a more lowly halberdier (Long Reach and Piercing Weapon).

Obviously, the pollaxe isn't a "sword and sorcery" weapon, but I've noticed that a lot of people are using the likes of the Perry foot knights for fantasy games, influenced by Game of Thrones. And the old Citadel/Foundry men-at-arms have been a staple of fantasy gaming tables since I was a child.

Added in 19 minutes 52 seconds:
A couple of "idiomatic" edits for page 5:

"Black Powder
Many dwarves models are toting firearms ..." should be "Many dwarf models"

And:

"Two warbands with a cannon each make for a boring game, where the winner is who wins initiative and fires first" should be "whoever wins initiative"

Added in 18 seconds:
A couple of "idiomatic" edits for page 5:

"Black Powder
Many dwarves models are toting firearms ..." should be "Many dwarf models"

And:

"Two warbands with a cannon each make for a boring game, where the winner is who wins initiative and fires first" should be "whoever wins initiative"

[Andrea Sfiligoi]

Thank you, all corrected.

[Jcrozier]

Page 39, foot of page:

"Drums and Pipes
This Group Actions ...". Change to "Group Action".

Added in 2 minutes 16 seconds:
Page 41:

"Dragon Hunt
This special group move may be performed only by 2 to 5 figures with the Dragonslayer, Expert Dragonlsayer, or Legendary Dragonslayer "

[Jcrozier]

Page 5:

"Using the expanded weapon rules, a dwarf's Arquebus will play differently from a human crossbow or an Elvish bow."

I know it's a vexed question, but I think "Arquebus" here should be lower case, as it's a reference to the weapon rather than the game rule (and it will then match "crossbow" and "bow" in the same sentence).

Next sentence:

"However, not all figures must use these new rules. Generic hand to hand attacks are available at no cost."

Should be "hand-to-hand attacks".

"Black Powder
Many dwarves models are toting firearms, grenades or cannons, and display a technological level similar to late Renaissance."

"to that of the late Renaissance".


"As creatures of Earth, metals and minerals, it is fitting for them to be the masters of those weapons."

I'd rephrase to avoid the dangling modifier:

"As dwarves are creatures of Earth, metals and minerals, it is fitting for them to be the masters of those weapons."

"If you feel thatblack powder weapons ..." should be "black-powder weapons".

Also, a query here:

"The east side of the mountains is an area of dry steppes perpetually swept by winds, and inhabited by aggressive, nomadic hobgoblin tribes."

Should this be "On the east side of the mountains"?

Bottom of the page:

"and by the occasional antediluvian lizard-men, dragons and wyverns."

The "the" should go unless you change it to "the occasional antediluvian lizard-man, dragon or wyvern".

Page 6:

"The most common foe of a dwarf is another dwarf, or an Undead dwarf."

Should this be in lower case? It's trait vs description again, but I think "undead dwarf" would probably read better here. It's in lower case on page 7.

"Hobgoblins (Hurras in their own, harsh sounding language) are a well-organized, militaristic, nomadic culture of orange skinned humanoids.

Add hyphen: "orange-skinned".

"Large battle axes, spiked shields, yatagans and double handed maces with a spike at the end of the handle are the most common infantry weapons."

Add hyphen: "double-handed".

"Hobgoblins have good smiths. Their metallurgy is almost on par with the Dwarves, but have limited access to ores, so any metal weapons they conquer from opponents are a welcome bounty. They are seen as evil by the other races because they do not show compassion for the weak or the ill, not even for their own kind, and gladly resolve any dispute with brute force or trial by combat. Hobgoblins see themselves as pragmatists hardened by the rigors of life on the steppes. They respect Dwarves but do not fear them. However, they never attempt to raid Dwarven strongholds or underground cities. In centuries of forced co-existence with Dwarves, Hobgoblins have conquered only one ..."

So far, "dwarves" have been in lower case (see top left of this page). Ditto "hobgoblins" (see page 7). Also, should "never" be "seldom" or "rarely", given that the next sentence does describe the conquest of a dwarves stronghold (and the fact that this is a wargame )?

Page 7:

"Luar, known today as Luar The Fallen, and that only happened thanks to demonic intervention and treason."

"Luar the Fallen", I think.

"Dwarves call these animals “Beardbiters”becauseoftheir penchant for biting at the neck."

"beardbiters"?

"Ruled by their near immortal King Thumas Ven, Miners practice gem magic and have the most powerful Runecasters."

"near-immortal"

"His choice made him a hero of the masses and he was the first King to be elected out of public acclamation instead of patrilineage."

"king"; "through".

"A whole clan were turned into undead creatures, and demons and long forgotten monsters started to appear all around Kestar Kell."

"long-forgotten monsters"

More later!

[Jcrozier]

Page 8:

"Thumas Ven is also responsible for another turning event in Miners history. Like his father before him, he was a dragonslayer, and killed Wisath the Red Fury, the last of the great Red Dragons. But Thumas had discovered that drinking a concoction based on dragon eggs kept him free of disease and from the ailments of old age. To keep his supply of dragon eggs, Thumas kept a few eye-layingfemale dragons in a secret cave. Unfortunately, the dragons broke free and came back to haunt Kestar Kell. For this reason and his involvement with the discovery of the EverBounty, Outcast dwarves call him “Father of Dragons and Demons”. This moniker elicits angry reactions from any Miner hearing it."

"Miner history"

"Like his father before him, he was a dragonslayer. He killed Wisath the Red Fury, the last of the great Red Dragons."

"egg-laying"

"epithet" (I think "moniker" is a bit too colloquial/slangy for this context)

"or hunting down Scimitar Monsters, Drakes and Wyverns. "

"scimitar monsters, drakes and wyverns". (lower-case wyverns in preceding pages)

While originally they pledge allegiance only to their own dragon-hunting party and to their original Pelter clan, in times of need they are sent to help others to fight draconic infestation.

Suggest deleting "originally" - the sentence doesn't need it, and there's also an "original".

Page 9:

"Legendary Dragonslayers are Pelters who have performed the Sedar Kaan ritual with a Dragon."

"dragon" (as later in same para)

"AScimitar Monsteris one of the Antediluvians — a race of reptile folk from times when dragons and dinosaurs ruled over the Earth, who survived the Century of Fire and Rain by adapting to a subterranean, scavenging lifestyle. The monster takes its name from its blade-like appendages that can cut through anything. Their bite is one of the most deadly toxins known. A subspecies, aptly called Deathspitters, can spray out their venom over short ranges. Often, it is not possible to tell a regular Scimitar Monster from a Deathspitter until the creature uses his spray. Runecasters buy Scimitar Monster venom glands from dragonslayers"

Upper or lower? I'd suggest lower case for "scimitar monster", but possibly upper case for Antediluvian - in which case, cap up the reference at the bottom of page 6 ("antediluvian lizard-men"). I'd suggest "deathspitters" too. If "scimitar monster" is lc, then hyphenate "scimitar-monster venom glands".

"Pelters were exiled from the Miners clans when they refused to mine the EverBounty. Their druids, originally the clergy of a minor religious faction worshipping Mother Fari as Nature itself, had sensed the danged posed by the demons trapped in the Everbounty, but the Miners leaders refused to stop digging, "

Suggest "Miner" as a modifier: "Miner clans", "Miner leaders".

Page 10:

"The mysterious disappearance of children from the neighboring halfling villages and merchants from caravans seems to corroborate the existence of a dark cult devoted to humanoid sacrifice in this area, but Pelters and Miners did not intervene yet."

"have not intervened yet"

"Another threat of the Kestar Kell area is the presence of a whole clan of Undead dwarfs."

"to"

"undead" (see above and later in this para)

"His best troops are heavy Infantry protected by the best armor and armed with two sharp scythes or mace."

"infantry"

"maces"

"offering deadly short range missile support, and skeletal ram riders."

"short-range missile support" (hyphen)

"Unlike Werewolves, Weremoles are not affected by the phase of the moon."

"werewolves, weremoles" (as at first reference above)

"Kestar Kell is home to unusual animals, used as mounts, beasts of burden, hunted for the Sedar Kaan ritual, or for their meat and furs."

"used as mounts or beasts of burden, or hunted for the Sedar Kaan ritual or their meat and furs."

"This thick-legged,blue furredwolf is almost as tall as a dwarf, has perfect night vision, but is partially blind at noon if in direct sunlight —generally, not a problem in the pine and fir forests of Kestar Kell. More intelligent than dogs, Bearwolves have been known to defuse bear traps with sticks, and fool trackers by walking in circles or backwards. The wilderness around Tephister is haunted by The Nine Ghosts, a pack of large, man-eating Bearwolves that have proven nearly impossible to kill. A legend says that the Dwarf who one day will manage"

"blue-furred"

"dwarf and has"

"— generally not a problem"

"bearwolves"

"the Nine Ghosts"

"bearwolves"

"dwarf"

Page 11:

"the next leader of all the Pelters tribe."

Suggest "Pelter"

"Hyaenodon
These massive carnivorous beasts are used by hobgoblin as mounts. A few of them are loyal to the hobgoblins that use them that they continue to fight for the hobgoblin force even if their rider is killed. Dwarves call them “Beardbiters”, for their penchant of biting dwarf-sized target at the neck. There are rumors of packs of intelligent Hyaenodon roaming around Hyria, but this hasn’t been confirmed."

"Hyaenodons"

"are so loyal"

"beardbiters"

"for"

"hyaenodons"

Wyverns - just a thought, but should there be a reference to their having just two legs?

"Drakes look like smaller, wingless dragons, but are of animal intelligence,and are unable to breathe fire."

Delete comma.

"Not only they are able to withstand incredible amounts of punishment, to fly and breathe jets of flaming gases up to 70 yards away; somedragons also have human intelligence and can cast spells."

"away, but some dragons"

"Giant star-nosed moles are ridden by dwarves and used as mounts both underground and above ground. Able to dig tunnels at incredible speed, they can also claw their way through the enemies. The best specimen can sniff out ambushes thanks to their keen, star-shaped noses."

"both above and below ground"

"through enemies"

"specimens"

[Jcrozier]

Page 12:

"Right after the players have deployed their forces, roll two dice and draw an imaginary line from the lower scoring die to the higher scoring die. That line shows the direction of the wind, which will remain unchanged until the end of the game."
'
"lower-scoring"

"higher-scoring"

"Any ranged attack fired through smoke is at -1. This is a cover bonus. A shooter may disregard shooting at a target partially obscured by smoke, and choose the next closer target. This is not a new rule, just an application of the cover rules."

"next-closest"

Page 13:

"Insubstantial models (e.g., Ghosts) do not dissipate smoke.
Smoke rules may sound like a pain at first but they create a more tactical play, as players must takie in consideration the direction of the wind and the moving tufts. They work especially well with a third player acting as a game master and moving them."

"ghosts"

"take"

"The game assumes that black powder weapons are somehow rare, or a recent technological innovation. On Norindaal, black powder is created by alchemists (especially by the White Square and the Black Circle Alchemist Guilds in Dorantia, a human nation south of Kestar Kell) and is available only in limited quantities.

Horses and other mounts not used to gunfire may be spooked by it.
Whenever a cannon is fired, and whenever 5 or more black powder weapons are fired in the same turn (as a Volley group action or as 5 or more individual shots), make a Quality roll on 3 dice for any Mounted or Animal model in play. All models tests individually. An Animal rolling 3 failures is spooked and must immediately perform a single fleeing move in random direction. Mounted models are knocked down if they roll three failures."

"black-powder weapons" X 2

Page 14:

"During a storm, natural or caused by a spell, all shooting is at -1. In addition, rain might render black powder unusable. If any black powder weaponrolls a 1 or 2 on its attack die, it misfires. A misfiring weapon weapon has no effect on the target, regardless of what the target rolled, and may not be fired until the end of the game. Use the same rule for characters using black powder weapons in swamp or water terrain, or who are knocked down in water or swamp terrain."

"black-powder weapon"

Delete (repetition of weapon)

"black-powder weapons"

"Profiles with the Dry Powder Trait are immune to the effects of damp powder and will not misfire on a 2. They might still malfunction on a 1 as per the normal black powder rules."

"black-powder rules"

Page 15:

"A model may not reload an Arbalest while in base to base contactwith an opponent, or while Transfixed or Fallen."

"base-to-base contact"